


Send My Heart (Across the Line)

by edriss



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Post-Series, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:40:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28780647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edriss/pseuds/edriss
Summary: But like all things in his life, it would never be that easy.Written for the prompts "married to the wrong person" & "best friends where one wants something more."
Relationships: Neville Longbottom/Luna Lovegood
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Send My Heart (Across the Line)

Luna was a vision in a white robe that stopped above her ankles. She kept twirling to watch it flutter in the wind. Somehow they'd found this field, with high grass and wildflowers and dandelions just sprouting their white seeds. She carried a bouquet of yellow -- daisies and daffodils and a giant sunflower – where everything was mismatched but looked perfect. So like her, Neville thought. With the sun beating down, threatening to turn her skin to scarlet, Luna danced around her friends. She hugged them all, with a kiss on the cheek for those very special to her. As she wrapped her arms around Neville's neck, he could smell the flowers, pungent in the summer heat, and he could feel her pulse racing against his skin.

Everything about this was perfect -- but he couldn't help the frown that creased his face as he watched the groom pull her into an embrace.

***

In the days after the Battle of Hogwarts, Neville felt a weight slowly settling on his shoulders. He thought after everything was over, he would feel lighter -- hopeful, even. But he was never that lucky to start with. His whole life was full of despair and confusion, disappointment and regret. Could haves and would haves and _if only I was faster/smarter/stronger_. Neville was never good enough and the death toll here proved it.

The only light in the darkness seemed to be Luna, who flitted around the castle helping wherever she was needed. She summoned water for the workers, helped fix scrapes and bruises, directed the little kids -- she even headed into Hogsmeade to help the city rebuild as well. She never stood still, robes flying and blonde hair pulled up into a tight bun to keep it out of her face. Every time Neville tried to talk with her, she disappeared. "Sorry but I think Professor Flitwick needs me," she'd say, her voice light and regretful as she backed away. He desperately wanted to be with her -- hold her tight to his body to remind himself that she was there and whole and safe. He watched as she doled out her hope and strength to those who needed it most, saving little, if any, for herself.

One thing was evident: he would have fallen apart with her.

***

 _I think I'm in love with you_ , he almost whispered as they planted seeds behind his new home. He had been looking for her during the Battle almost a year ago – to tell her. He had run through the halls as stones and curses flew through the air shouting her name. But he hadn't found her. At one point, Neville even thought she was gone. And then, when the dust settled it seemed inappropriate. Now that the world wasn't ending and they weren't dying, it could wait. Still, almost a year later and he hadn't said it, though he had tried many times. The thought caught him at the most random times, including now when Luna was covered in dirt from planting.

They leaned close together, their fingers mingling in the dirt as they dug and patted and watered. They were creating life together, he thought. Luna was natural like this -- hair plastered to her cheeks, mud smeared on her clothes, a huge grin across her face. _She is beautiful_ , he thought, and if he only leaned a little closer, he could capture her lips with his own and everything would be perfect. He inhaled deeply to gather his courage but Luna shifted back to sit on her heels and rub her dirty hands on her pants.

"Think we're done?" she asked, eyes clear and bright. "I brought some sandwiches for lunch."

And just like every other time, the moment was over.

***

The worst thing was that he found out from Ginny. Ginny, who talked about the handsome but quirky Rolf for two days before Neville realized he was dating Luna. Ginny, whose face turned almost to pity when she realized what this meant to him. He'll never know why Luna never brought the subject up herself. For a long time, he let himself believe it meant she felt something for him. But in the end, Neville couldn't hold onto that feeling. It broke his heart -- the butterfly, throat-clenching feeling of hope that helped him survive seventh year was slowly killing him now.

He loved her. Neville was sure of that now. He loved the way she wasn't afraid to get dirty. He loved her thin, pink lips -- especially when she pursed them into the shape of a flower while she was thinking. The long strands of white blonde hair that fell from the bun she always wore low on her head. His fingers constantly itched to tuck them back behind her ear, to touch her face which must be smooth as a flower petal, to touch her lips...

But like all things in his life, it would never be that easy.

***

There comes a time when you have to decide to speak or hold your tongue forever. Neville wasn't sure he could make that decision. Could he watch Luna be married to the charming Rolf? Could he profess his love for her and risk the rejection and desolation that would inevitably follow? A long time ago, when he was just a small boy with clumsy fingers and a thick head, a wise man told him it was far braver to stand up to your friends than stay silent. Even then, the thought scared him half to death. He was no roaring lion like those that made his Hogwarts house famous. As years ticked by, the red and gold he struggled to wrap around his body faded. Even as he walked the halls as a professor, the house divisions didn't matter so much anymore. Maybe Neville was a little brave. Maybe he was also fair and intelligent and ambitious.

Maybe he was honest -- but as he watched Luna smile and intertwine her fingers with her new love, Neville thought her happiness was more important than his own. This time, he would hide behind their friendship and just hope that one day his heart could be sewn back together.F


End file.
